


How did I lose my virginity? Ambiguous sarcasm.

by dollyvonvixen



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, and possibly causes a second divorce but i have hope swan queen can work through their magnet issues, cards against humanity ruins a marriage, complete and utter crack, did i still do it? yeah, was this a bad idea? yea
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-22
Updated: 2019-02-22
Packaged: 2019-11-03 17:12:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17881880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dollyvonvixen/pseuds/dollyvonvixen
Summary: cards against humanity but kinda fairytale gay





	How did I lose my virginity? Ambiguous sarcasm.

**Author's Note:**

> with enough commitment i could probably do this better but i dont have that so its in the same format as the game's chat

Permanent link to this game's rounds. 

**emma** has joined the game. 

The following  Cardcast decks are in use in this game ( instructions ):

**snow** : welcome!! 

**charming** : ^^ 

**reginasuxs** : welcome to hell enjoy ur stay 

**Regina** : Miss Swan. 

**snow** : REGINANn we’re playing a GAME you can be less formal 

**reginasuxs** : yeah get that stick out of ur ass like the rest of us 

**Regina** : ok bitches get ur asses ready to get diggity don wooped to heck and pussies ready 2 be licked

**Regina** : See? That wasn’t fun for anyone. 

**emma** : ok whats going on here what r we doing 

**snow** : i’m so glad u asked!!! 

**snow** : so i heard some students talking about this thing called “cards against humanity” and because all of you refused to come over tonight we’re playing an online versrrion 

**snow** : thatt was very rude of u btw i made a really good lasagna and everything 

**emma** : mom…..

**emma** : do u even know what cards against humanity is

**snow** : no but it seems fun 

**snow** : ok lets start!!!  

  
  


**snow** : ok which one of you sinful beings picked the first card

**snow** : i didn't raise any of you like this

emma wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. 

**snow** : REGNA HOW COULD YOU PICK THAT 

**snow** : EMMA HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT

**snow** : “you can’t wait forever its time to ask your doctor about vulcan sex-madness” like I’M NOT EVEN HERE

**emma** : dont knock it till u try it 

**Regina** : Are you saying you’ve tried it? 

**emma** : wouldn’t u like 2 know?? ;; ) )) 

**snow** : IM STILL HERE PLEASE STOP FLIRTING

**emma** : THAT WASNT FLIRTING IT WAS A VALID QUEISTON 

  
  


**reginasuxs** : IM FUCKI NG CACK LING  

**reginasuxs** : WHJ O PUT TRUM P EATIN G PUSSY I JUST WANA TALK

**reginasuxs** : bet it was snow the fuckjing virgin 

**snow** : i literally have 2 kids how am i a virgin zelena????

**reginasuxs** : nuns don't have sex before marriage 

**snow** : what does that have to do with anything?? 

**reginasuxs** : well the only ass u'll ever get is blues 

**charming** : wait ur cheating on me with blue???

Regina wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds.   


**snow** : of cOurse not!! i love you

**snow** : THIS ISNT A GOOD TIME RE GINA

**snow** : HOW IS A CHIMPANZE IN SUNGLASSES HAVING RELATIONS WITH YOUR WIFE APPROPRIATE   

**emma** : idk but its funny lmao gj gina

**Regina** : Don't call me Gina. 

**emma** : fine

**emma** : gina 

 

**emma** : h4rjnfklpr

**emma** : MAGNETS 

**emma** : why is that so funny i cant brea the what the hell 

 **emma** : luke... i am your 

 **emma** : MAGNETS 

reginasuxs wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. 

 **emma** : MOM HOW COULD YOU PICK THAT OVER

 **emma** : MA G NE TS

 **reginasuxs** : she's an intellectual swannie 

**reginasuxs** : she knows Switching to Geico® is better 

**emma** : ok but consider this: 

**emma** : magnets  

 

Regina wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. 

**emma** : ok so the homosexual agenda is funny and all but have you considered 

**Regina** : Don't you dare say what I think your about to say, Miss Swan. 

**emma** : MAGNETS

**Regina** : I've written a recommendation letter to the couch. You can move in at 5.

 

**reginasuxs** : what the bloody hell does that even mean 

**reginasuxs** : you wankers are on something else

**emma** : what do u mean what does it mean???

**emma** : its in the name

**emma** : the great emu war

**emma** : its an emu war  

**charming** : i think she means thats very strange sweetie 

**charming** : of course idk tho i'd ask snow but

**charming** : apparently she's cheating on me with a nun

**snow** : IM NOT 

**snow** : i told u i'm not

**charming** : thats what the cheaters always say

**charming** : "oh no that wasnt me" "it was a mistake" "i thought he was you! he is ur dead twin brother after all" "i told you i'm not cheating"

**charming:** they're all lies

**emma** : hey dad some of those seem kinda specific 

**emma** : wanna talk about it

**charming** : no honey its ok i'll get over it

 **snow** : you'll get over your true love???

 **charming** : yes because she's a CHEATER

 **snow** : I AM NO T 

 **charming** : as emma said last round

 **charming** : soft, kissy, missionary sex 

 **charming** : thats all u'll have with blue

 **charming** : u coulda had crazy, ball-slapping sex your parents are having rn with me but no just had to choose the fairy

 **emma** : ok two things

 **emma** : gross and grosser i hate you 

 **snow** : that wasnt very pg of you charming!!! 

 **snow** : thats gosh dang porn!

 **reginasuxs** : only someone hiding a super kinky side kinkshames people this much 

 **reginasuxs** : tell me all abt ur bdsm dungeon 

 **snow** : my bible discussion/study meeting dungeon? 

 **snow** : i'd love to tell you all about it!!  

 **emma** : magnets 

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote it but yet... i fear it


End file.
